Dreams of Genius: A True Story

I awoke this morning with an incredible idea that I couldn't wait to "do" something with.* This was going to be the envy of all those who seem to spew verbal genius as easily as writing/saying their names. It must have come to me in a dream or something in between, as I woke up murmuring the words that were going to end my current malaise. So, I ruminated this thought over and over in my mind until I worked up the motivation to get out of bed and go over to my computer. Then, I typed these amazingly evocative words: "God ate my homework."

As soon as they were out and on the screen I realized there was absolutely nothing I could do with this idea. That's the way it is with most things that seemed incredible while you were dreaming them, and in the haze of transitioning to wakefulness. On the other hand, I imagine a psycho- or other analyst would be able to diagnose a myriad of "disorders" that would inspire such genius.

*(for the record, I am allowing myself to end this sentence with a preposition because I can't think of a better way to word it at this time.)

Wishful Dying

My shadow
has grown so long
I fear the sun
is hastening me on

Already, I miss
my bare feet
in the cool grass,
the balmy breeze
on my face,
redolent with
memories of a
far away place
deeply inhaled,
I breathe my last

with your face
imprinted behind my eyes
wide open
I hear a rise
of rushing leaves and
voices past
and waning heartbeats, last
on waves of music
I am swept away

For my Father

The following verses were written just before...and then after my father died on June 2nd, helping to deal with my grief. Although the whole experience was emotionally exhausting, and I miss my father's "presence" in my life; there were aspects that were intensely interesting to me, provoking introspection like nothing else has before in my life. In addition to poetry, I have been documenting my journey and will include excerpts in future posts.

Don't despair
words not spoken
You speak to me
with your eyes
You draw me near
to hear your longing
Don't fear
that I don't understand
I do
You love me
and I love you
I always have
and always will
So now
Rest peacefully
and be still...

One More Time

I came to spend
the night-time hours
by your side
one more time
hoping to warm your heart
hoping as well
to warm mine.

I wanted to hold
your hand
and walk with you a while
one more time
hoping to see your smile
hoping as well
that you'd see mine.

But, I just missed you
Still, I felt
the warmth
as I kissed you
goodbye.

Terror

strange day
thunder rumbles
from far away

hours pass
and I realize
the storm may never
materialize
but hang in the air
a chronic threat

the sky grows dark
a siren wails
the dogs bark
but nothing yet

the lights are on
but the clocks stop
I hold my breath waiting
for the other shoe to drop

days pass
the thunder continues
from far away
and I realize
the storm is here to stay.

Li'l Prayer

If you should die
before I wake
my love,
please
don't forget
to take
me with you.

Amen

I used to say
"when i grow up
i want to be
a dancer,
an artist,
an actress,
all that..."

now that i
am "grown up"
all that
I really want
is to be
a cat.

Fear and Abandonment

I've been wanting to start a writing blog for some time now...and now is the time. My fear has been...who the heck wants to read what I write....and what if I don't sound intellectual enough (comparing myself to my very worldly and wordly brother, Wally Torta Crackskull Bob Sparky Donatello and my supersmart, culturally perspicacious and generally head-screwed-on-right sister, which I have done most of my life); and what if someone reads this and thinks I should be reported to the FBI?.

So, now that I think I'm old enough to die having lived a half-way decent life, I throw caution to the unusually high wind for these parts due to global warming, and put my writing self out there. I suppose the worst thing would be, NO COMMENTS. Maybe I shouldn't....

And yes, I have started out in an exploitive sort of way by mentioning my brother's name. Well, you don't expect me to cut off an arm, do you? Like, I don't believe I can just do it on my own? Well, that's exactly what I am hoping to prove by starting this blog; that I can do it without mentioning Wally Torta et al.

See...I've already gotten off to a shaky start.